the departure

15th of september will be the last day for you to spend your vacation in ipoh.

sometimes,i asked myself,why am i always trying to argue with you even though you are coming back just for a vacation?and yet,i found that sometimes it isn't my problem.

for sure,i'm so sure that i've tried to tolerate with you,yes i did.

i hope that you can be a bit more mature,you are already adults.

next time,next time when we meet,we will talk to each other nicely,okay?

let this be our promise.good bye.

the arrival

Okay, just less than two hours will be the time my lovely brother arriving home. It’s a special one, simply because it has been one year he stayed in Taiwan. So, I do look forward to the moment. However, it’s quite worrying, how about the prayer meeting tomorrow? I really shouldn’t simply promise others for anything. I should have known that I don’t have that ability to lead worship without a pianist. Oh God, what should I do? Hopefully that Alfred will be willing to do me this favor. Have to admit to God that, yes, I’m helpless. I knew that there won’t be many conversations between me and Alfred, just hope that God will lead me through all the time with him. No matter that is moments of what, I know they will be precious ones. So, now is the time 1256, I’m listening to my ipod, my brain is full of my brother. Many people said that I don’t have good relationship with him. Well, I have to admit that we do argue sometimes, but see, that’s normal, isn’t it? Sometimes, we do argue like cats and dogs. However, that’s not the whole thing of our life, that’s just a part, and just be frankly, it didn’t make me feel unhealthy, unlike Billy, it is okay right? I finally realized that I really don’t have much time to spend with my family now, since I must further my study and we will be set apart. I try to spend every moment with them patiently and taking them preciously. Oh God oh God, can you just lead me through some hard moments and those irritating obstacles? I tried to talk to daddy. However, he didn’t reply me even with a single syllable ‘oh’. I’m really curious, is it my fault? Am I so faulty? I’m always curious about this. Okay, just now, he treated mummy very rudely, so Jesus, please tell him what he should do. Jesus, forgive him, as he doesn’t know what he is doing. It’s time to rock. I’m going to enjoy my king-sized bed alone before my brother is back. Tata.
0106
24 July 2009
AsRealAs Alexander

i LOVE twilight

how much do i love twilight? seriously, i don't know.

the soundtrack is just fabulous. i mean, i really love the piano piece, isn't it too nice?

i even wanted to listen to it when i'm asleep, it's like i couldn't breath without it.

actually, i can't really breath with it, its melody is somehow making my mind empty.

i'm feeling like empty one, but i know i'm not.

there is a very enormous feeling within me, in the deepest side of me.

i can feel it, the music is just, too nice.

bella swan, edward cullen, or robert or whatever, they are just like drugs.

and do the piano piece, they are addicting.

yes, i love twilight. they seems to be almost perfect.

in illustration maybe, but they just look nice.

p/s:happy birthday, fukai.

left in vain

i have it clear in my mind, it is a very fault since it starts.

what should i expect? i know neither you nor me is for each other.

you attracted me, very much. and that's why you are able to left me in vain.

you can block me again, as you did it before.

however, this time, you are not blocking me so soon, simply because you really don't recognize me anymore?

i don't mean to fake or pretend, i just want to talk to you. but, when i'm talking to you with this sureal identity, i felt guilty, i can't control my emotion. there is a very vigorous reaction within me.

we don't have much memories to be recalled, but you are never out of my mind.

i don't know why you are attractive. just because of your physical appearance?

i have no idea what i'm thinking now.

do i want you to block me? or i want you to keep talking with me with an unknown identity of me?

you didn't block me, maybe it's simply because you have really forgotten me.

i knew how tiny i am. always, i am.

my life sucked without you.

the last time

listened to a song just now. actually i had have this song about one year ago, and i listened to it.

however, sometimes, this is life. we never realize something had been with us since such long time ago, and it stayed with us for such long time.

few days before mothers' day, the counselling department had prepared a special perfomance.

they arranged some students that have family problems to go up on the stage to share about their experiences and talk to us about how precious parents should be.

christabel sang a song, in chinese it is called the last time.

her sharing captured everyone attending the assembly.so, many of my friends started to talk about that song. they didn't do it before she sang it.

so, i knew that that song is sang by a 17 years old girl. she composed that song.

yes, the lyrics are meaningful. so i got one illegal copy from my friend. this is sinful right.

so, i mean, the song is very nice. and the lyrics are very touching.

but, just now, i opened my old playlists in my vaio, and the mesmerizing melody flows into my ears. hmm.. this song is so familiar. the last time? i never realize i have already got this song.

yes, some times, many things are with us all the time. but, we never take it as something precious.

only when other people talked about it, only we have started to notice its presence.

no, never take things for granted. and, nothing should be taken for granted.

love yourself, love your life, love everything beside you.

they are, precious.

the emcee of 06062009

the sixth of june of 2009, this is the day i really stepped on a stage, and felt how nothing i am compared to the huge stage, and also how much i can do, on this stage.

i remember that teacher zj said that she always feel weird to write a blog, to let every one sees how she feels. so i suggested her to open a new blog, where no one knows her. she agreed with me.

so, i think, this is what i'm doing now. no one will see this right?

who cares? i just want to take down something which is remarkable in my life here. i will be happy if some one is leaving me a comment though.

so, back to the sixth of june. that night is the night of the grand occasion, SJ wind band concert.

it is considered grand, i think.

at least, for me to be the english emcee of a concert of 1000++ people attending, it's my very first time.

at first, i'm lacking confidence in doing it.

so i really want to thank mister kenneth, teacher zj, mister huckaik, mister cheonglin, teacher avelyn and so many so many people, there is really too much to appreciate.

they have helped me, in many ways.

thanks yirou, it's quite nice to have a task with you.

thanks teacher zj, you did almost everything you can during our preparations.

thanks mister kenneth, you helped me in my pronounciation, my terrible grammar mistakes, and also the pack of kfc which saved me from starving.

thanks mister huckaik, you really made this concert so nice, just because you are strict enough. also,you are really talented, you are fabulous!

thanks mister cheonglin, you guided me when i'm preparing my manuscript.

thanks teacher avelyn, don't know what to say, sometimes you just calm me down.

thanks yinswan, although the make up is not really nice, still thanks for making it for me. the foundation is somehow not even.hmm..

thanks simei, you really helped them so much. you helped me too.

thanks mummy, you gave me much stress though.

last but not least, thanks jesus, you are my light of the light. you have lighten me up that night. my shining glamour is from you. it is all from you.

really thanks so many people, you gave me the strength to keep holding on.

i'm really so happy for being the emcee of the concert.

throughout this six years of my high school moments, i think this concert is the biggest event i have been participating, and having such important role in it. the ENGLISH EMCEE!! lol..glory to my lovely jesus.

i don't know how to describe how happy i am.

when the principal told me, ' the directors were asking me if you are a teacher. so i asked them, does he look like a teacher?and they answered no. and they said, but his pronounciation is so good and his slang is very nice. so then, i pointed at your mummy and told them, she is the english emcee's mummy. '

when i heard these, i'm really so gay.

at least, i did something today.

at least, in my six years of high school times, i had a very remarkable night!

i love ya, Shen Jai High School!

thanks wind band and penang state symphonic band.

p/s: love ya,estee. can't imagine that such good singer like you, can be so humble and requested to take photo with the emcees. you are just, very nice!!

the sixth of june of 2009, i will remember this day in my entire life.

distance

yup, i know that you are the number one in class.

and i really know that you have great achievements in subjects in class.

so just because of that, you think you are great enough to give comments on me?

let me tell you, being well in languages, isn't all because of talent.

talented will be a catalyst, but why you have to hide all my preparations?

facing you, i'm really like someone without consciousness.

i don't know what i'm gonna do.

i found it pretty hard to gain an equilibrium.

what am i going to choose?

you as my friend or my stubborn attitude?

i can feel the distance between us.

i feel bad, too.

i really love you, no matter as what.

cheerful bad day

i just listened to bad day of chipmunk's ..

it's soo cute!!

believe me, it will certainly cheer you up!

have a nice day~

message me if you want the song too..

it's like baby singing~

cheerful song ^ ^

chip munk chip munkzz~~

when promises failed

i'm always wondering, why, why and why.

why you have to treat me like this?

i really don't like this way of solving problem.

i read your blog, and you wrote something, of nothing about me.

i'm not disappointed. who am i to feel so?

actually, i really don't care what you take me for.

however, i don't expect you treat me in this way.

you said that there's something, which won't come back, once you turned away.

so do you mean that i'm really a good for nothing?

maybe there's just too much promises.

and that's why, i fall so hard.

do you ever think about my feelings?

do you ever?

alone

this song really sang out every words in my heart.

it's a nice song. i feel pain everytime i listen to it though.

because of you, i falled apart. i'm totally alone, do you know?

alone - celine dion

I hear the ticking of the clock

I'm lying here the room's pitch dark

I wonder where you are tonight

No answer on the telephone

And the night goes by so very slow

Oh I hope that it won't end though alone

Till now I always got by on my own

I never really cared until I met you

And now it chills me to the bone

How do I get you alone

You don't know how long I have wanted

to touch your lips and hold you tight oh

You don't know how long I have waited

and I was going to tell you tonight

But the secret is still my own

and my love for you is still unknown alone

Till now I always got by on my own

I never really cared until I met you

And now it chills me to the bone

How do I get you alone

How do I get you alone

How do I get you alone

How do I get you alone

alone alone

talk to me

this is the first blog i wrote here, and it's all about you.

i have no idea,why you have to treat me like this.

we had two crazy days before you started to change.

i believed that there's no others who will chat non-stop until the midnight of 5 am.

yet, we do.

do you know i really can't let you out of my mind?

it's already two days.

i can't concentrate on anything i'm doing.

there's only you within my mind.

i can't memorize any laws of gases, i can't figure out the solution of parabola.

i lost my creativity while i'm writing essays, i can't concentrate at all.

today was the day, you said we would meet.

but, what had happened?

why can't you just tell me what is the matter?

why you choosed this way to solve the problem?

do you know how toilful i am?

can't you treat me like i'm a human?

cause i am!

how should i love you?

how could i hate you?

talk to me, please.